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 Boy's Sexual Abuse

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Lucas

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PostSubject: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 10:24 am

I dislike the term I was taught way back in 1st grade, and that term is "stranger danger". I can tell you as a survivor, most sex abuse is not done by strangers, but by family members, or people we know.
Here are some facts about the sex abuse of boys, and some tips to help prevent it.
I hope it never happens to any of you, boys or girls, but if it does, you need to tell someone, there are help lines in the forum here, do not keep it inside of you, you need to talk about it, and get it out. You not only will feel better mentally, but if you report it, you may prevent this person from abusing other kids.

The typical child sex offender molests an average of 117 children, most of whom do not report the offense.
About 95% of victims know their perpetrators

Of all victims of sexual assault reported to law enforcement agencies

   67% were under age 18
   34% were under age 12
   14% were under age 6
An estimated 25% of girls and 16% of boys experience sexual abuse before they are 18 years old. Statistics for boys may be falsely low, boys think if they report it they would be considered gay.

Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family

Do not fall for the following things abusers will most likely say when they want to start physical contact with you:

"Let me make you feel good, I care about you so much, I just want to help you learn to know your body"
"You are not gay if you do this, everyone your age experiments"
"You are getting older, I am so proud of you, can I see how you have developed"
"Let me be the first to show you how good this feels, no one has to know, this is between you and I"

If Someone is Pressuring You

If you find yourself in in a situation where someone is pressuring you, remember that it’s not your fault. These tips may help you exit the situation safely.

Have a code word. Develop a code with friends or family that means “I’m uncomfortable” or “I need help.” It could be a series of numbers you can text, like “311.” It might be a phrase you say out loud such as, “I wish we took more vacations.” This way you can communicate your concern and get help without alerting the person who is pressuring you.

Safe Web Browsing
Use private browsing. Most browsers have a privacy mode that allows you to visit websites without storing any record of your activity on your computer or device.

Social Media Safety
What you choose to share on social media is always your decision, but what others choose to do with your information may not always be in your control. Personalize your privacy settings.

IF SOMEONE TOUCHES YOU OR YOU ARE ABUSED, PLEASE TELL YOUR PARENTS, OR SOMEONE YOU TRUST



Last edited by Lucas on Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:04 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Ryan
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 10:48 am

Luke, you have no idea how many people you may have just helped by your post. Not just our members, but our guests that stop in and read our forum.

I know this took a of courage for you to write, and post, but your willingness to share this with everyone shows me your compassion and concern for other kids and teens who may have been abused, or to prevent an abuse from happening to them. 

Rhiannon and I, as well as our Administrative staff are very proud of you, and thank you for doing this post. You are a very valued member of our forum.

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Heaven on earth is looking at my little boy. The minute he was born, I knew if I never did anything other than being a dad, I'd be fine.

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Tyson

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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 11:40 am

Very well said Lucas. You did an outstanding job on this informational post, that is sure to help others your age and younger.


Last edited by Tyson on Sat Nov 14, 2015 6:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 4:12 pm

Thank you for this Luke, a lot of these things I did not know.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 4:16 pm

I know that 2 of those things that abusers say, was said to  a boy who is 12 by another boy who was 13 going on 14. It is not only adults that abuse other boys and girls sexually, but older kids as well.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 5:46 pm

Anyone who molests a child should be punished by many years in prison. It is sad how many kids have to experience years of torment because an adult took advantage of them.

Thank you for bringing this up Lucas, this is a touchy subject but you handled it extremely well.

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Last edited by CyberWarrior on Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:07 pm

People that want to molest kids and it can be other older kids and adults use tricks and what they call lures to try and talk you into it too we were taught in our health class.
I have my older brothers who have talked to me about this, and my older sister and my mom, and they taught me ways to recognize dangers and how to protect myself from them.
Sometimes you do not know what they are doing until it has happened, so it is a good idea to recognize the things in Luke's post early and know some of the facts.
This was a very good post Luke  cheers  

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Last edited by Jakob on Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:19 am; edited 6 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:36 pm

We all need to recognize how people like pedo's operate, whether it is in public where we come in contact with them, or on the Internet. If we are approached, we need to resist them and say NO, then report it as soon as possible. The only way to stop these sick people is to report them and get them off the streets, locked out, where they can't hurt anymore kids.

cheers  for a good post Lucas
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:55 pm

Hey Lucas, I wanted to respond just to say that I am sorry you had to experience this, but am happy you are a survivor, and are trying to help other teenagers and kids avoid being victims.
You did a great job on this post, and a great service to Youth Safe Haven by creating this post.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Thu Nov 05, 2015 8:07 pm

Thank you for a great post Lucas cheers  cheers

This happens a lot more than people think it does. It has never happened to me, and I do not think I could handle it if it did. I admire you though, you show you are a strong person, and that you really care about helping other kids by making them aware of this.  
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Sat Nov 07, 2015 5:04 pm

I have never had anything like abuse happen to me, so I consider myself very fortunate. I am sorry you went through it Lucas, but maybe it made you a stronger person.
I think posting your information will help a lot of people who may be around a person that is trying these things and working up to try and abuse them.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Sun Nov 08, 2015 3:58 pm

This is just so wrong that adults get off on touching kids, or sexually aroused by them. I admire you for posting this, most people like to bury their head in the sand and pretend the problem does not exist.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Mon Nov 09, 2015 9:33 am

This is like a really new thing to hear about, since most cases of abuse that make the news are girls being abused, or boys abused by some older teacher.

I was not aware the abuse to boys by same sex adults was so frequent. Usually it makes the news if the abuser is a Priest.

This post is very educational, and I thank you for writing it. Having an 11 year old brother, things like this worry me.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Sat Nov 28, 2015 8:28 am

I have never experienced anything like that, and do not know how I would react if it was someone I trusted.
It would be difficult for me to handle if someone tried to sexually abuse me.

You are a strong person Lucas, and I admire you for facing this head on, and sharing your experience so others may prevent this from happening to them.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Dec 16, 2015 11:00 am

Sexual abuse has to be the most horrific thing that can happen to any boy, at any age.
Lucas I admire what you did, as far as getting your story out, and I cannot even imagine the hell you went through when this happened. You beat him, you reported him, you fought him and won. Lucas, you got big kahunas dude, and I hope the guy that did that to you get's what he deserves in prison for a very long time.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Sat Dec 19, 2015 2:31 am

Great post Lucas i know what it take to be able to talk about it as i was physically and sexually abused. There not much more i can add to what you just if it happens to anyone here or anyone you know as lucas said you need to tell somebody and talk about it dont keep it inside.
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Sun Dec 20, 2015 6:02 pm

I have never known anyone personally that this has happened to, but I know it goes on.
I am sorry both of you had to go through this, but maybe you guys helped prevent it or got some other kid to report it by telling us about it,
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Sat Jan 23, 2016 5:37 pm

Nothing should ever be forced on a child or young adult.
Because I am gay, I have been approached by adults, but never touched or forced to do anything.

Kudo's to you Lucas, and Access for your sharing, I hope this encourages other people our age to report this if it happens to them,
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Apr 27, 2016 11:00 am

I know how hard it was for you Lucas to do this post in public, because as you know I am also a sexual abuse survivor.

For those of you that do not know me yet, I was sexually abused after a soccer game 2 months ago by an assistant coach who is 56 years old. I never saw it coming, but had I known about some of the lures Lucas talks about, it may have made me think I was being lured, and tricked into something.

Please, all of you here, read Lucas's post really good, do not take chances with anyone, if people you just meet are trying to gain your trust and always seem to pay more attention to you when you are not with your parents or family, beware.
I never imagined I would be abused, but I was and I am in therapy now which is helping.
Once I got over the guilt that I did not cause this by wearing my uniform, talking a certain way, acting friendly, or being respectful, my feelings turned to anger over how someone I trusted turned that trust against me.

I hope none of you ever have to experience abuse.  
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Wed Apr 27, 2016 2:04 pm

One thing I would like to add that is very important, when the sex abuse happens to a family member, it affects the entire family, it is like we all were abused.
I know how traumatic this is, not only for Lucas, Access, and Keanu, who is my brother, but also what an impact it took on our entire family.    
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PostSubject: Re: Boy's Sexual Abuse    Mon Apr 03, 2017 5:00 pm

I don't know how you got through that, to me that is the worse thing that can happen to you other than dying.I don't think I could ever be the same it that happened to me.
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