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 Cooking children 101

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PostSubject: Cooking children 101   Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:52 pm

Cooking children has been a popular means of population control since the primeval period.
Drag them into your home. Then somehow attach the child to the roasting pan belly first so his hindquarters are facing you. Then put stuffing up his hindquarters. Then take the child and eat the rest of him for dinner.Experts agree that stick-poking before killing adds taste and juiciness to children. Metal sticks can be bought at specialty stores.
e careful! Children are evil.
step 1- Season the child using salt and pepper.
step 2- Preheat oven to 350
step 3- Shove the child into the stove (Warning: children are conniving little beasts, be careful, they have been known to shove others in before them. Just remember, you are bigger than they are. Use force, and if you can't, there are plenty of over the counter drugs that will quickly put any child to sleep.)
step 4- Lock stove. If your stove is not equipped with a masterlock, simply place any large piece of furniture in front of the door for 30 minutes or until child stops moving.tep 2 - Cover child in vanilla or strawberry topping that is so hard they cannot move. Put on in plates that have been cooked. Cooking temperature varies from 800-1000 depending on whether or not you want to allow child to wiggle slightly or if you are sick. If you are yet more sick, do not cover mouth and allow screaming.
step 3 - Wait until wake-up time.
step 4 - Slowly eat, leaving vital parts for last. Do not eat inedible parts.
Breakfast Special
Put child to sleep, then dice finely. Fry bacon, eggs, mushrooms or toadstools, and diced child together in a skillet. Serve with ketchup or Tabasco sauce.
you prefer lean child meat, lock child in cage, and feed only unsweetened grains and vegetables. Meanwhile, dangle fruits, candy, cake, cookies and sweets just out of reach of the cage. Collect child drool for use in future potions. Children tormented in this manner acquire a uniquely delicious flavor. Alternatively, hang the child by his butt on the clothes line to dry then spank him this will make his rump tender and easy to stuff!
Children are a most wonderful dish. Children are known to be a bit chewy. But if you cook them right, they can become nice and tender, and often times a bit sweet. White children are known to be eaten on Thanksgiving, instead of turkey. This helps turkey and helps the world to get rid of kids and discover their great-tasting meat. Children should always be washed and properly prepared before cooking. I, myself, eat kids.

Jakob get over here
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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Thu Feb 25, 2016 8:04 pm

This was really funny, it made my night I laughed so hard Alex, thanks!@
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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Thu Feb 25, 2016 8:12 pm

No one can say we do not have fun here  Laughing  Laughing  Laughing  Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Fri Feb 26, 2016 7:36 am

Being eaten, hmmmm wonder what I would go for if you ordered me, would I be steak or hot dog price?


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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Fri Feb 26, 2016 8:00 am

Depends on how hard you were to cook . I mean children tend to fight a lot so probably more steak price. however if i ordered you alive it would be less, also if you came pre drugged it would be higher. Also all the seasoning and extra ingredients overall not very cheap.

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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Fri Feb 26, 2016 8:10 am

I would pay steak price for one of the legs here in your bball picture, to me they would be tender and I would season them first with a little soaking in beer, so my meal would be Jakob
s Beer Battered Leg.

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PostSubject: FEAST TONIGHT - MY HOUSE   Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:14 am

Feast Night, dishes prepared by Austyn for you enjoyment.

Welcome to my house for my Friday night special feast, I have been busy cooking all day long, so I hope you appreciate my efforts.

Let’s start with hor dourves, we have “Talyn fingers and toes” that were fried then battered with pancake mix, served with powdered sugar and sprinkles.
We also feature “Eli porked flavor ears”, and “Eli liver snacks”.

Now, to the main course, we feature “Jakob fried legs, and hindquarters”, “Jakob roasted testicles” “Jakob broiled arms”, as well as “Colton Brain Soup” and “Colton Heart with onions”, and although we only have one of each, we have a
“Jakob, Colton, Eli hot dog”, specially seasoned and prepared before cooking to the fullest length we could possibly get.

For dessert, please enjoy “Ryker sweet treats” which feature eyeballs, fingers, toes, testicles, all smothered with chocolate fudge and topped with whipped cream and nuts.

Hope you enjoy me meal tonight!!
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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Fri Feb 26, 2016 11:20 am

OMG Austyn', "specially seasoned and prepared before cooking to the fullest length we could possible get".
You guys are crazy but I love the post Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:29 pm

crazy? I think not a crazy person would do completely unpredictable things. What this is a step by step process on how to cook children. What everyone here is doing is following the steps to do so. No what we are is insane. This is really well planned out and therefore is not crazy. Taking a normal ideal and ruining it such as this topic. A crazy person would simply spontaneously come up with an ideal so profound that they end up in an insane asylum. What I have done is taken a crazy ideal and polished it to fit what I want. That is not crazy that is insanity. Next time please work on the adjectives that you use to describe people. Otherwise I hope you have a fantastic rest of day. Until we speak again -Alex
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PostSubject: Re: Cooking children 101   Sat Feb 27, 2016 7:02 pm

hey I want to keep my fingers and toes, do not eat them Laughing Laughing
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